It’s one thing to be polite. It’s another to be a guest that makes your host think, “Let’s have them back soon.”

There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to manners—especially in the South, where hospitality is practically a love language. What feels helpful in one home might be overstepping in another. The trick? Know the basics, read the room, and respect the host’s vibe. Here’s how to be a guest worth remembering (for the right reasons).

1. Don’t Arrive Early

You may think you’re being prompt, but early guests can throw your host into full-blown panic mode. They might be mid-prep, still getting dressed, or just enjoying their last peaceful moment. Arrive at or just after the invited time—never before—unless they’ve specifically told you to.

2. Read the Room Before You Remove Your Shoes

Some homes are shoes-off, others are absolutely not. Unless there’s a clear shoe pile by the door or your host says something, don’t assume. And if you’re going barefoot, a pair of clean socks can be a thoughtful compromise.

3. Bring Wine (or Any Gift) with No Strings Attached

Wine is a classic gift for a reason—it’s easy, elegant, and usually welcome. But here’s the key: don’t expect them to open it while you’re there. It’s a gift, not a contribution to the evening’s bar. Maybe it doesn’t pair with the meal, maybe it’s being saved for a later date, or maybe your host doesn’t drink at all. Bring it because it reminded you of them—not because you want a glass. And if you’re not sure wine is their thing, something like a candle, specialty snack, or fun local item is just as thoughtful.

4. Help, But Don’t Hover

Always offer to help—but once is enough. If your host declines, let it go. Hovering in the kitchen or insisting on doing dishes can actually create more stress. Try a simple, “Let me know if you need anything,” and then go back to being easy company. They’ll appreciate the gesture and the space.

5. Don’t Offer Menu Suggestions

This isn’t Top Chef. Even if you’re trying to be helpful, saying “Next time you should…” or “You know what would’ve been great…” can come off as a critique. If your host asks for feedback—go for it. Otherwise, just enjoy the effort and say thank you like you mean it.

6. Let the Host Lead the Kitchen

Cooking breakfast for everyone without asking might feel generous, but using someone else’s ingredients or crowding their kitchen can feel intrusive. If you want to help, ask first—or offer to pick up coffee and bagels instead. It’s less invasive and just as thoughtful.

7. Communicate Your Plans

If you’re planning to meet friends, head out sightseeing, or even sneak in a workout, just give your host a heads-up. Disappearing for the day without saying anything can feel a little… ghosty. A quick “I’ve got lunch plans at 1—see you later this afternoon!” is all it takes.

8. Ask Before You Strip the Bed

Some people appreciate guests pulling the sheets; others do not. Always ask first. They might be juggling laundry for multiple rooms, guests, or just need a breather before diving into it. If they say to leave it, just smooth the covers and straighten the pillows. Tidy is the goal, not a linen pile.

9. Tidy Up Before You Leave

Treat their home like a hotel you want a good review from. Toss trash, check the bathroom for anything you might’ve left behind, and make the bed—or follow their preference if they told you to leave it. A clean exit speaks volumes.

10. Always Say Thank You

A thank-you text is good. A handwritten note is gold. And bonus points if you reference something specific you loved—“That cheese board was next-level” or “Your guest room sheets are nicer than mine at home.” Gratitude is never out of style.

Hosting is Personal. So is Etiquette.

What’s polite in one house may feel overbearing in another. Some hosts want you to jump in and stir the pot; others want you to sit and sip. The best thing you can do as a guest? Pay attention, follow their lead, and match their energy.

Want to return the favor?
When it’s your turn to host, check out How to Prep for Guests for all the tips on creating a cozy, clutter-free, chaos-free stay.